Goku's Ark
by The Rev
Summary: A strange parody of the Bible story everyone's heard. Dende tells Goku to build an ark... Chapter Two Up
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Why do I bother with the damn disclaimer?   
  


A/N: Just a fun parody of the bible story everyone has heard at one point or another. Don't get offended, it's a joke. Everybody's the same age as the beginning of the Buu saga.   
  
  
  


Goku's Ark:   
  
  
  


One day Goku was lounging in front of his house sunbathing. He didn't have a care in the world. Or so he thought.   
  


For, high above the world, on Kami's tower, sat Dende the merciless. Dende was a god of the old world, and he was displeased with what he saw. Everyone on earth was becoming evil and wicked. All they wanted to do was watch television and eat fattening foods.   
  


Except for one man.   
  


Son Goku was holy in the eyes of the young Kami. He was pure of heart. Therefore, Dende decided to spare his life.   
  


Goku! Dende said to the saiyajin telepathically.   
  


Goku immediately jumped up. "What is it, Dende? Is the earth being threatened again?"   
  


No Goku.   
  


He scratched his head. "Then what is it?"   
  


Goku, humanity has become unhealthy and lazy. As Kami, it is my duty to cleanse this planet. But you are to live.   
  


Goku raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"   
  


I will cleanse the earth with water, Goku.   
  


The saiyajin looked down at the ground and kicked up some dirt. "Yeah, I guess the earth could use cleaning."   
  


NO!! I mean I'm going to flood the planet and kill everyone but you!   
  


"Oh. I guess that's okay too." he said with a shrug.   
  


Good. Now, I want you to build an ark. It is to be thirty cubits long and fifty cubits wide. It...   
  
  
  
  
  


"Wait a second! What's a cubit?" Goku said, scratching his head. "And for that matter, what's an ark?"   
  


Dende growled. JUST MAKE A REALLY BIG BOAT, OKAY!!?   
  


Goku shrugged. "Oh. Okay, a big boat."   
  


You are to bring your wife, and your sons, and their wives.   
  


"But.." Goku scratched his head in confusion. "Only one of my sons has a wife."   
  


Dende sighed. Bring her, then.   
  


"Okay!"   
  


You must get two of every kind of animal, one male and one female. Then you must put them on the ark.   
  


"Ark?" he asked, puzzled.   
  


The big boat!   
  


"Oh."   
  


Then, you must tell all those you wish to bring with you that I will flood the earth in one day.   
  


"Okay, I guess."   
  


Good. Goodbye, Goku.   
  


With that, Dende left Goku to build his ark in one day.   
  
  
  


The next day...   
  


"Kakarott, what on Kami's green earth are you doing?" Vegeta asked irritably. He had come over to spar, but Goku was building a huge boat. He was almost done.   
  


"Dende told me to build this thing called an ark, cuz he's gonna flood the whole world!" Goku said with childish glee. "And he said I had to get two of every animal, but all I could find was Oolong, Icarus, and a big fish." he held up a large dead fish.   
  


Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about this?"   
  


Goku nodded urgently. "Sure I'm sure."   
  


Vegeta shrugged. "Very well, Kakarott. I'm going to go train."   
  


With that he flew off back to capsule corp. to finish training in the gravity room.   
  
  
  


"Finished!" Goku yelled out. He dropped his hammer and turned proudly to Videl, ChiChi, Gohan, and Goten, who he had called to his house. "What do you guys think?"   
  


"Uh..." Gohan was at a loss for words. "It's nice."   
  


Goku smiled. "All aboard!"   
  


They all looked at him kind of funny, but climbed onto the boat, anyway.   
  


No sooner than Goku closed the door than nit began to pour rain.   
  


"See!" Goku yelled.   
  


It rained and rained for forty days. When it finally stopped, the whole world was flooded.   
  
  
  


Forty days later....   
  


A calm lake is all that the eye can see. The whole world is covered in water. The sky is blue and clear, and small, fluffy clouds slowly drift by.   
  


Then, suddenly, a large object drifts by. It is Vegeta's gravity room. And perched on the top is none other than the saiyajin prince.   
  


"Blast you, Kakarott!" he yelled out. "When this water goes down, someone is going to pay for this!"   
  


And the moral of the story is...   
  


Always listen to strange men who build large boats in their front yard. If you don't, you will end up floating on top of a gravity machine in the pouring rain for forty days and forty nights.   
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

A little weird, I know. I'm a bit buzzed at the moment.   
  


Tell me if you like it. If I get good reviews, or any reviews, I'll do more.   
  


And to any flamers: You can flame me if you want. I will laugh at you and forget about you.   
  


Ja ne   
  


Rev. Vampyre 


	2. Vegeta's Pet Dove

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, or the bible. If I did, I would make improvements to both.   
  
  
  


A/N: wow, I got five reviews for this. That's a lot for something that took me less than five minutes to write. Next chapter!   
  
  
  


Goku's Ark: Chapter Two   
  
  
  


When the rain had stopped, Goku and his family went outside to see what they could see.   
  


It was nothing but water as far as the ye could see.   
  


"Oh, Goku, how will we know when the water goes down?" ChiChi asked.   
  


Goku pointed one finger in the air as he got an idea.   
  


"I know! We'll send Icarus out, and if he doesn't come back, we'll know that the water has receded!"   
  


ChiChi jumped with joy. "Oh, Goku, that's a wonderful plan!"   
  


So they called Icarus, and he flew off over the water, out of sight.   
  
  
  


Vegeta sat on top of his gravity chamber, stroking his pet dove.   
  


(A/N: Yes, now Vegeta has a pet dove.)   
  


"Oh, my pretty little dove, you will help me find land, won't you?" he said. The dove nodded his head.   
  


"Yeah! Go, and see if any land is still above water!"   
  


The dove left Vegeta's arm, and began to fly away. But just as he was leaving, Icarus flew up, caught the dove in his mouth, and ate it.   
  


"Blast!" Vegeta yelled. "How will I ever know if it's safe to leave the gravity chamber!?"   
  


But Icarus began to choke. The dove was caught in his throat! He fell into the water and drowned.   
  


"Damn. Now the dragon's dead too. Oh well, serves him right."   
  
  
  
  
  


"Hey, everyone!" Goku called to his family, "Icarus hasn't come back yet. That must mean there's land! Come on!"   
  


They all dived into the water. Unfortunately, they never got to find out if there was land or not, because just then a huge sea monster loomed up and ate them all.   
  


The water began to recede, and Vegeta was left alone on planet earth, with no one to keep him company but Oolong and the dead fish, who had been left on Goku's ark.   
  
  
  


The End!   
  
  
  


=========================== O ============================   
  


That's it for this one. Pointless and stupid, but I thought it was funny. Everyone review, even if it's just to tell me I suck.   
  


Ja ne   
  


Rev. Vampyre 


End file.
